Unsequenced poem
clear-headed, clear eyes;
you fly through mazy disentanglements
the saliva spans, like bars,
the place of the jaws
pulling apart.
the baleen of the uterus open:
pitcher/bell/category
of all enclosures; mark
of disparate Cains: you, small wings,
fly in.
crack the acorn, dear,
he bleeds honey;
in a mat of reeds and slivers
he sings himself to sleep.
when shall he pass through?
horn curl, like hair, framing:
the ridge of her clavicle,
the wings of her breasts,
the teeth of her ribs
and her tongue-heart.
in the center, centrality:
periphery gnashing his teeth,
castigating absence.
cut your many holes
through the many rings of the wall!
here is the place to end.
I rather like this one, it's got a nice balanced sequence and some lilting prosody; and the metaphor is quite decent even though it's necessarily abstract. The five sections are complementary, not quite to be viewed as separate poems; however, they are all split viewpoints of the same view, building not a progression or resolution as is normal, but rather adding to the picture different aspects and shadings. It attempts to make the solid silhouette, the block, into a fully dimensional entity, occupying space.
What is describes is somewhat beyond me to convey in prose without gross understatement. Besides, this is the age of the reader; what is intended by you is infinitely more subtle and meaningful than my intention in the composition.